The Psychotic In Me

The psychotic in me
Tends toward extreme
Nonsensical things
Slightly paranoid dreams
Having seen leaves so green
Crystal rainbows in bluest skies
Wanting to lean back
Touch the other side of Earth
Dark romanticism laced with just a touch
Of arrogance
Still wishing it could be true
Hoping for one more glimpse
Wanting to run into your life
To watch the sky on fire and the
Sun melting away into the sea
Horizon disappearing into darkness
I know I must have promised too much
And the madness in my eyes
Is starting to grow as
The psychotic in me
Is beginning to know
To understand
To realize the costs associated
With making dust devils
Run frightened through desert sands
Desperately grasping
And clinging to the heart you shared
Certain to drag you down with me
Wrestle thoughts and feelings
Knowing I know I must let go
Surely I already regret it though
Feeling your walls as real as my own
Closing off and pulling away
The writing is clear
As I step back to see
The white rabbit has gone already

Just a trail of tears left behind
And some broken hearted dismay
The Hatter’s song calling from a distance
The psychotic in me
Frantically trying to change it all
To somehow set things right before
The music stops
The moon laughs
And I realize again
I’m standing too close
To the place between madness and what’s right
It seems too late now and even hindsight
Blind to the fact that I am alone again
Hanging on every word every breath
Every incredible detail
every part of you and I
Screaming inside
Having lost something beautiful
Terrified to think you might not feel the same
But somehow glad that you escaped
And the insanity seems to grow quiet inside
Though I suspect medications hide
All the things my heart truly desires
I bury them even deeper still inside
Watch myself pressing on somehow
Hoping to never be the same again
Trusting that I will not
Wrapped in a cocoon and believing
I am ready to change
Falling into a new dream
Slowly awaken from another
Trying to hold Dawn in one hand
As Dusk slips away from the other
It’s these spaces in between days
Where everything comes together again
The psychotic in me

 


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